Forget Your Family: Focus, Focus, Focus

For real though, all my blogs are starting to sound the same.

But in reality, aren't all these problems starting to break down to a few main issues. I think the big one that I've hinted at but haven't said clearly is the breakdown of the family system. I read an article this week from the perspective of student and the mother of a student that was having so much stress placed on them that they didn't even have enough time to eat dinner with their family.

If the enemy can't get us to be bad, he'll get us to be busy.

If the enemy can't get us to fail, he'll get us to forsake our family [those that want to help us most].

I think when we take a step back, we realize how ridiculous this whole thing is. We invest hours, thousands of dollars, and all our resources into our children, and then never see them. Parenting is left up to coaches, teachers, and honestly, media. Then we wonder why our kids don't respect us, understand what we believe/why we believe, or don't have time for integrity.

Think about that: our kids don't have time for integrity.

When we plague our kids with academics that require perfection, we shouldn't be surprised when our kids become perfectionists. I think what we're surprised by, however, is how far perfectionism goes. Being personally able to relate to this, I can say that it can become an addiction, and like addictions, it continues to get worse and worse. The need for everything to be perfect, left untamed, will wreck lives. People have killed themselves over these types of issues.

How long will it be before we give our kids a break?

When it comes to academics specifically, it pulls in competition between people who are already gifted and driven to strive to be better. The types of people that can compete academically at this level are also typically tunnel vision people. That is, we see the goal and nothing else. This is what drives people to drop their morals at the door and do whatever it takes.

Honestly, as I think about it more, the older I got the less it became about impressing my parents. It may have started as me not wanting to disappoint them. However, without them forcing me to stop, I began to find my worth in that. And as I became independent, I cared less about what they thought and more about what I thought. What I thought was that my worth was found in my work. My parents didn't even feel this way - they just didn't understand the depth of my need for perfection.

This is a dangerous trap. Can any of you relate to this?

Bibliography

Neighmond, Patti. "School Stress Takes A Toll On Health, Teens And Parents Say." NPR. NPR, n.d. Web. 16 Sept. 2014.